What Shall I give….

January 19, 2010

What is it about us – something deep inside that desires to be a hero. We want to be heroic! We love the hero/heroin when they save the day. Even as a child this was in my mind as i sported around the house in my ‘wonder woman‘ underoos – using cups as arm bands — i had all types of scenarios where i saved the day. I wanted to do something great!!

i think we all still have that longing inside.. to do something great. Even in my spiritual walk – i have wanted to lay it all down for Christ. I wanted to do something great or just to be great. I still do – i often get caught up in a noble purpose and want to dive in and do great things or to be a hero.

I would have loved to go to Haiti.. to jump into the rubble to search, to hold people who are hurting, to help… why? I love people and i am moved with compassion and that causes me to act. But honestly.. i don’t have the skills.. i only have the love. i don’t necessarily think this is a bad thought to want to do great things and be great… but i think God is changing my perspective here some and my idea on what is great.

Micah 6:6-7
With what shall I come before the LORD
and bow down before the exalted God?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?

Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousand rivers of oil?
Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?

Even if I have great things.. great sacrifices… will the Lord be pleased? What shall I give? For whatever i have, it is not great enough. The Lord is teaching this little photographer much in this passage. It can be applied to so much in my life.

I have been blessed with some good skills ( numchuck skills :) haha.. i mean just in general .. i can do a lot out of my own power. So.. this isn’t always a good thing.. as i perhaps lean on my own abilities too much.

Hmmm.. i am realizing more and more that I can’t do it – I can’t be great on my own. I don’t have the strength. I don’t have the ability. I don’t have the resources to earn favor. I have grown weary with effort to earn or to make something work. One my friend’s told me once – ( after i said, i don’t think i can do relationships.. they are hard.) She said.. “exactly, none of us can.. that’s exactly where you need to be”

John Piper uses this illustration in Future Grace (one of my most favorite books) .

Some hunters use a nut in a jar to capture Monkeys. The monkey seeing the nut will reach inside the jar to grab the nut, but the since the hole isn’t very large, the monkey gets stuck and the hunter can get the monkey. The Monkey will hold on to the nut… gripping it, all of it’s efforts focused on that one thing… and cannot even think to let it go. Because of that, the monkey loses his freedom. He doesn’t get what he desires and is captive to holding onto or striving for something he can’t get. What is it.. just a little nut .. he loses his life striving after a nut (not gonna lie.. i kinda wanna break out into a CC Music Factory Song right now) “It’s your world, and i’m just a squirrel trying to get a nut” HaHa.. do you know that song…

anywayssssss

What shall i give… i cannot give except that which has been given.
vs. 8
He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.

walking humbly with God. I am not great .. he is. The only way i can be great is with Him. I let go of striving.. trying to get what i can’t get on my own… and i simply walk with God. Humbly… loving his mercy and doing the right thing. That is all we are asked .. this is what is GREAT.

I let go of the nut – i stop striving for what cannot be gotten. I give up.. actually. And i walk in glorious freedom humbly with my God. Whatever that looks like.. whatever it means.

REST in his gift.. you can only give what has been given.

What shall i give…

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